I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
