is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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