she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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