Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
