how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
