were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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