I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
