So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
