My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
