Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
