whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize