I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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