he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
