i think i have herpe
just one?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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