yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize