It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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