He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
