can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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