we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This is my gift to your gina
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car