4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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