Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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