I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
