I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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