He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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