2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
