Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
