I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
