i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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