Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
