You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
