just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
