And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
