I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
