hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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