Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize