drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
