he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize