considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
