sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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