and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Panties = found
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