Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
