He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
