he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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