yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
