At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need a beard to bite.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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