I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
