Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
