I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
