Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
