you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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