I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
