Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
