Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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