How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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