So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
