I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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