its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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