names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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