I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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